Salt and Vinegar
The bad boys of the chip aisle.
I can remember when my obsession with salt and vinegar chips began.
Incidentally, I tried, just now, to rank brands of salt and vinegar chips but the truth is it really depends on the moment. There is a time for Pringles and a time for Deep River. A time for Lay’s and a time for Miss Vickie’s.
No matter what the occasion though, I think we can all agree on #1. It’s Cape Cod and it’s not even close.
Anyways, around the time my love affair began, my cousin and I went to summer camp and we each brought our own party-sized bag of Lay’s Salt and Vinegar chips. We worked through them slowly over the course of the two weeks, folding the bags up and putting them under our bunks so we didn’t run out too soon.
I also remember that the other girls in our cabin did not like them.
“They taste like feet!”
Wimps.
That is when I learned that certain foods are… how do I put this? Hardcore. They’re cool. They make you cooler when you eat them.
For example. I am, famously, a fan of buffalo wings. I tend to ask for them hot and extra saucy. Even now, just writing this, my mouth is watering.
But the truth is, I did not like wings when I first ate them.
Growing up, my family and I used to go to the same restaurant every Friday night. The Ancient Mariner. A classic, a gem. They had arcade games and I held the high score in Crazy Eights for years.
At the Mariner, my older sister often ordered buffalo wings. Due to the laws of younger sisterhood, I could only spend so many weeks watching her order them before copying her. Imagine my horror when I did and the inside of my mouth was set ablaze. But, and this is what I mean about food being hardcore, I knew I couldn’t show it. I ate every last one in agony. I forced myself to look like I was enjoying it.
Weeks passed and I kept ordering wings over and over and over again until they were no longer spicy and I actually just liked them. Yes, my favorite food in the world is a result of dedicated self-torture. Something… to think about.
Other foods I have deemed “cool” at some point in my life:
Oysters.
Pesto.
Pickles.
The ginger and wasabi they give you with sushi rolls.
Dark chocolate.
Why? Couldn’t tell you, they just are.
Once, Josh asked me for the cultural connotations around certain cocktails. Is a whiskey sour cooler than a vodka soda? I have no idea, but I do know that your social status improves if you put both salt and pepper on your french fries.1
On that note, please reply to educate me. What is the coolest cocktail and why will I still exclusively drink Coors Light? Thanks in advance.
You would not believe the hours of entertainment “french fries vs. chips” and “chips vs. crisps” I have gotten out of the last ninth months in Ireland. You say that different than me! is the most trusted conversational tool I have in my arsenal.